he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
