Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
