omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
