Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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