fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
