My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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