Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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