i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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