So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you have to choose: penises or morals?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
