I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
