we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
