Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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