I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The best revenge is premature balding
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
