you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
