I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
