You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
