I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
NoShamevember. You game?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
