i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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