my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize