Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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