bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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