You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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