I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
