Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
