Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
