Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
