im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
