ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
