I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How external is "for external use only"?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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