By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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