home. puking in laundry basket.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
