Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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