Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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