Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
