hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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