we're blogging at a bar
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize