There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize