I have demons in me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
