I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
