the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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