Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
