Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
