My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
