Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
