used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
