just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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