Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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