This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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