So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
