Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
