You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
