Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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