I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
