I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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