I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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