I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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