Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
