No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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