Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
