I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
