im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
