Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
