What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
