Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
