I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
